Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
- The big secret of dealing with people: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Do this and you’ll be welcome anywhere: Become genuinely interested in other people.
- A simple way to make a good first impression: Smile.
- If you don’t do this, you are headed for trouble: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- An easy way to become a good conversationalist: Be agood listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- How to interest people: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- How to make people like you instantly: Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- You can’t win an argument: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- A sure way of making enemies — and how to avoid it: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”.
- If you’re wrong, admit it: If you are wrong, adimit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- The secret of Socrates: Give the other person saying,” yes, yes” immediately.
- The safety valve in handling complaints: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- How to get cooperation: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- A formula that will work wonders for you: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- What everybody wants: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- An appeal that everybody likes: Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- When nothing else works, try this: Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- If you must find fault, this is the way to begin: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- How to criticize and not be hated for it: Call attention to people’s mistakes indrectly.
- Talk about your own mistake first: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- No one likes to take orders: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- How to spur people on to success: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”.
- Give a dog good name: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Make the fault seem easy to correct: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Making people glad to do what you want: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
This is my notes from the book “How To Make Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.