Rules of Better Relationships with People

Cing Sian Dal

Apr 27, 2018·2 min read

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
2. The big secret of dealing with people: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Do this and you’ll be welcome anywhere: Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. A simple way to make a good first impression: Smile.
3. If you don’t do this, you are headed for trouble: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. An easy way to become a good conversationalist: Be agood listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. How to interest people: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. How to make people like you instantly: Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. You can’t win an argument: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. A sure way of making enemies — and how to avoid it: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong”.
3. If you’re wrong, admit it: If you are wrong, adimit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. The secret of Socrates: Give the other person saying,” yes, yes” immediately.
6. The safety valve in handling complaints: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. How to get cooperation: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. A formula that will work wonders for you: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. What everybody wants: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. An appeal that everybody likes: Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. When nothing else works, try this: Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

1. If you must find fault, this is the way to begin: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. How to criticize and not be hated for it: Call attention to people’s mistakes indrectly.
3. Talk about your own mistake first: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. No one likes to take orders: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. How to spur people on to success: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”.
7. Give a dog good name: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Make the fault seem easy to correct: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Making people glad to do what you want: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

This is my notes from the book “How To Make Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.